


oil beds are burning

by Anonymous



Category: Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types
Genre: Daddy Kink, Lowercase, M/M, POV Second Person, Taking Hagakure’s Bullshit Backstory Seriously
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-17
Updated: 2018-12-17
Packaged: 2019-09-20 22:24:37
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,175
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17031090
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/
Summary: daddy burned your house down when you were a kid and honestly that's all anyone needs to know about you





	oil beds are burning

daddy left when you were little. you don't really remember that part. you do remember the fire he started, though. you'd seen it in your dreams for weeks beforehand, cried yourself to sleep at night, mom perched on the end of your bed.

you'd never blame her for anything, of course; your mom is the actual best person in any timeline ever. but back then, she didn't believe you when you told her what would happen.

then one day the smoke curled up around your bed.

you thought it was another nightmare at first, so you didn't even try to run. stay in bed and try to relax, you remind yourself. mommy and daddy need to sleep. stayed quiet as the flames crackled louder and louder, knocking at your door. it was so hot, boiling hot, and then you woke up in the hospital.

this is what happened: daddy fell asleep and dropped his cigarette. daddy burned down the house. yes, all your toys burned. you breathed in a lot of smoke, baby, that's why you're here. daddy's not coming. i’m divorcing your daddy, and we're going to go live with your grandma, isn't that nice?

mommy was crying and you didn't know what to do and everything still tasted like smoke and fire and your skin still burned and your mind was already foggy with a future you didn't understand. you couldn't think. couldn't think anymore.

you never saw daddy again.

~~~~~

life is rough. everything is hard and you learn slowly and even the teachers make fun of you. you don't have friends.

you're good at fortune-telling, though, and it becomes your thing. start getting big clients. business is business and you offer your services to anyone who can pay the price. you need money. you can never know when you might lose everything, after all.

you lose everything when that kuzuryuu girl gets pissed that you predict she'll die young.

anything is edible when you're on the run. fast food. food from dumpsters. mud. the grit sticks between your teeth and never leaves. sand grinding when you chew. you drop in and out of half a dozen high schools, never staying in one place long enough to be found. no one is here to protect you. you wonder why you fight so hard to survive. it’s not like you’re living.

hope's peak academy sends you a letter.

~~~~~

“jeez, hagakure, didn't you already have a childhood?”

“no,” you say, and laugh.

naegi stills, and oh yeah, this was not the guy to make that joke with, huh? naegi's all about feelings and emotions and talking things out and other things that make your head spin and heart hurt. so many heart-to-hearts. you put up with a lot to be friends with this dude.

“...wow,” naegi finally says. “that… sounds tough.”

“yeah,” you say. “it was.”

you two don't talk much more that night. naegs killed the mood there, dude. you're not here to confront your feelings head-on, you're here to confront them through metaphor and things you can't touch.

thinking about things is hard.

~~~~~

makoto lets you call him makoto now, but he's still your naegi-chi. names are hard, but you adore him. more than anyone else in the world. more than yourself. maybe not as much as mommy, but it's a shockingly near thing. he is your first and best friend, and you cling to him and never let go.

you like it when he touches you. feather-light fingers. you don't get touched enough in general, so you appreciate that about him. sometimes it make you cry, sobbing messy tears, because you're not alone anymore. you predict you will come to love him. you want to raise his children.

makoto finds you hard to understand, but he handles your interactions with grace and maturity. it’s hard to remember that he’s only 18; he’s so much more adult than you. growing up is a privilege, you think. because to grow up, you have to be a kid first. and you never got to be a kid, not really.

it’s a bitter taste in your mouth.

~~~~~

this is who you are:

more love, more attention please. everything is about having people love you. hahaha 30% rate give me your money i can give you my heart on a platter to eat. cut your knife into my heart and carve out a nice juicy bit. it's rare.

you have nothing left to give. laugh to cover up the pulsing emptiness where your organs used to be. hide from people. important: remember to distrust people. people will eat you alive with nice words and soft smiles.

blood only drips down.

~~~~~

“i bought you this,” makoto says. he presses the stuffed rabbit into your hands.

it's a cute little black bunny, with white paws and a pink nose. shiny domes for eyes. it stares at you and it instantly melts your heart.

“it's perfect,” you say.

it's kind of embarrassing, but you carry it around with you all day. nuzzle your face against it. let it rest in the crook of your arm. bunny likes that, you're sure. bunny is a good bunny and a new friend.

use bunny to stuff the bleeding seams of your heart y/n. 

~~~~~

the world is sometimes loud and painful and confusing. you are lost a lot. trapped in brain fog. you know you don't know much and it's so scary and frustrating, because that means people don't like you. and people who don't like you abandon you.

you don't want to be left behind again.

so you curl into yourself. soft things are good things. press your face into bunny fur and talk to bunny, because bunny’s a good friend now. or at least bunny won't leave. same difference, really. under the blankets with bunny and turn on something disgustingly cute -- hello kitty anime, hello kitty anime -- and let the playlist run. go back to being a kid, being safe

smoke around your bed, smoke around your bed. you can’t smell it but you know it’s there, crawling down your back. there’s no smoke, you’re not then, but everything is the same, always. nothing changes and you’re still screaming, begging, take me seriously please love me love me love me dad.

it’s too hot under the bed. the world outside is burning.

you clench bunny to your chest. the bad things won’t stop. why? make them stop. you’re so scared, the nightmare never ends, fear eats you again and again and again.

the floor is cold under your bare feet. you slip out of your room, walk-half-run down to the end of the hall.

~~~~~

you're watching something quiet and wholesome. some kid's show that aired when you were already too old, but one makoto still remembers fondly. bunny is cradled in your arms. your head is in daddy's lap. a good place for a head to go.

“i love you daddy.”

makoto shifts under you, rests his hand on your shoulder. “i love you too.”

daddy is so good to you.


End file.
